Once upon a very ordinary work week, the good people of the Republic of Ghana were busily doing what we do best hustling, complaining about ECG, and forwarding family WhatsApp broadcasts about doomsday fuel prices.
Then, out of nowhere, the government in its infinite wisdom remembered something very important: Ah! Republic Day! We accidentally buried it, didn’t we?
So, in a rare burst of national charity, they announced Relax, your ghost holiday is back. But with a small plot twist: To maintain productivity, we’d shift it forward to Friday. Because, naturally, if there’s one thing we Ghanaians can’t stand, it’s a disorganized productivity flow.
The Science of the Shift
Let’s pause to admire the logic: if you holiday mid-week, your productivity crashes like a cheap laptop Monday motivation collapses, Tuesday drags, Wednesday vanishes, Thursday sulks, and Friday becomes a public apology.
So, to protect the delicate national work ethic, our brilliant minds decided to tack the day off neatly to a Friday because we all know Ghanaians never bunk off early on Fridays anyway, right? Friday is a famously hardworking day.
A wise man once said, “If you want a Ghanaian to work hard on a Friday, hide the keys to the bar.”
How To Lose A Holiday (And Find It Again)
The previous administration had quietly scrapped Republic Day, probably to teach us discipline. We didn’t protest. We’re good citizens — we know when to keep quiet and queue for our share of the national cake.
But lo and behold, the day has risen again — not on its original date, but strategically repositioned for our own good. It’s like giving a child an ice cream cone, licking half, then handing it back. Gratitude, child. Productivity must flow.
The Holy Thanksgiving Combo
And so, last week, we were given enough notice to prepare: find our nice outfits, craft social media quotes about patriotism, and brace for the National Thanksgiving Service.
Nothing says “We love our Republic” quite like national prayers to bless a holiday nobody wanted to bury in the first place.
Meanwhile, the roads to church — same crater-riddled paths, because potholes are apparently good for national productivity. They keep our mechanics employed, our shocks replaced, and our pastors busy praying for safe travel. Heroes of the ‘Productivity Flow’
True productivity champions this weekend:
• Workers who will carry files home but mysteriously forget them until Monday.
• Civil servants who will use the ‘flow’ to catch up on lost sleep, missed home-made soup, and overdue family gossip.
• Street hawkers who won’t care whether it is Wednesday or Friday — holiday means traffic lights become shops.
A Republic Day Moral
So, dear citizen: if you ever feel unproductive, just know your government has you covered. They’ll shift your holiday to the end of the week, bless it with a Thanksgiving Service, and pray you forget the potholes you swerved to reach the prayer ground.
Meanwhile, the next budget will probably have a line item for Strategic Holiday Relocation Allowance. It’s called governance — Uncommon Sense style.
Final Benediction
May Republic Day never die again — unless it dies strategically for productivity flow.
May we always remember that a Republic is not defined by its people’s freedom, prosperity, or good roads but by its ability to cancel and resurrect holidays at will, for our own good.
And should the holiday disappear again, do not worry. Just maintain your productivity. One day, someone will remember to announce it again — probably on a Tuesday, to shift to Friday, to protect us from ourselves.
Long live the Republic.
Long live our productivity.
Short live our memory.
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DISCLAIMER: The Views, Comments, Opinions, Contributions and Statements made by Readers and Contributors on this platform do not necessarily represent the views or policy of Multimedia Group Limited.
