She did not set out to be a single mother. Life handed her a path filled with tears, judgment, and sacrifice. But every day, she shows up. Not for praise, not for sympathy, but for the child she chose to love when walking away would have been easier. This is not just her struggle. It is her strength. And it is time her story is told.
She didn’t cry when he left. She had already cried the night before, in silence, while holding her belly and praying the baby would not feel her pain. When the door finally closed behind him, there was no loud bang. Just quiet. A silence that said everything she feared. That she would have to do this alone.
She didn’t choose to be a single mom. Life chose it for her. But she chose to stay, to fight, to nurture, and to love in ways only a mother can. She chose to keep the baby amidst the temptation to abort it. She chose to believe that love was still possible, even if it came through tiny arms wrapped around her neck instead of a man’s.
No one told her that strength would look like this. Carrying a child in one arm and carrying shame in the other. Smiling with neighbours when her heart was breaking. Pretending to be okay while her dreams quietly faded into the background.
Some of them did not plan for this. Some gave their all in relationships that broke them. Some believed love would last. Some lost their partners to death. Others escaped abuse and chose peace over fear. Some were young, confused, and alone, yet they chose life and responsibility. Some were abandoned without a word. Others had no choice but to survive.
But the world does not care about the full story. It does not ask questions with empathy. It does not pause to listen. It only sees the label: single mother.
People stare. They whisper. They judge. They say she failed. They say she is a problem. They say she is reckless. They say she should have tried harder. But behind those quiet tears and tired eyes is a woman who gave up everything for the child she brought into the world. If that is not strength, what is?
Rarely does anyone say, “She is still standing.” Rarely do people say, “She stayed when someone else walked away.” Almost no one says, “She is doing the job of two people without asking for praise.”
She carries no title. No medals. No headlines. But every day she wakes up, she performs miracles with empty hands and a full heart.
Every stare she ignored, every tongue she forgave, every night she cried silently so her child wouldn’t hear, this is what makes her a warrior.
Do you know the one whose future was cut short because she became a mother too soon? The one who had to pause her education while others moved on? The one who juggles carrying water, selling by the roadside, and rushing home to feed her child? The one who wakes up before dawn, packs wares to sell, not because it is what she loves, but because it puts food on the table? The one who works night shifts and still shows up for school meetings pretending to be well-rested? The one who cannot afford to fall sick because no one else can step in?
Some days, she counts coins and prays they are enough for rice. Some nights, she covers her child with a blanket and then turns to cry in silence. She wears her clothes neatly, so no one sees the fraying edges. She ties her hair back, not because she doesn’t care, but because there are more urgent things than looking good. Things like paying for medicine, saving for rent, buying school supplies, and making sure her child has something to eat tomorrow.
She attends weddings alone and endures the stares. She answers awkward questions with grace. She watches her peers travel and post pictures while she silently prays that one day she too will breathe a little easier. She dreams in silence. She hopes in quiet. She believes in tomorrow even when today feels unbearable.
Do you know of any woman who had to keep her baby and not abort it, despite the pressure of judgmental tongues, staring eyes, the fear of being alone, the uncertainty of finances, the threat of losing future suitors, and the shame society tries to put on her? If you know one, then you have met a strong woman. Just by deciding to keep that child when every voice around her said otherwise, she has already won. That decision alone deserves respect.
This post does not promote that path. It only tells the truth. Many of them fell victim to situations beyond their control. Some gave their hearts in love. Some were misled. Some made mistakes. Some were harmed by others. But they did not run. They stayed. They faced life head-on and embraced their child with all the love they had left.
But even after all of that, there is one part of the story we rarely talk about.
What happens when she wants to love again?
There is a woman out there who hides her child when a man comes to visit. Not because she is ashamed of her baby, but because she has seen how men react. She has seen how their faces change when she says, “I have a child.” Suddenly, they go quiet. They say, “That’s a lot to take in.” Or they just stop calling.
She is told not to mention the child too early. That it might scare him off. That it might ruin her chances. So, she rehearses how to say it. Some even pretend they don’t have a child just for a moment of peace, a chance to feel loved like everyone else.
And when she finally finds someone kind enough to look beyond the child, another wall appears. The man’s family. His friends. The ones who say, “Why her?” The ones who remind him that there are women without children. The ones who say she comes with baggage. They don’t care that she is loving. They don’t care that she stayed when someone else walked away. They don’t care that she’s doing her best every single day.
To them, she is still not good enough. And it breaks her heart all over again.
So, I ask, what happens to her then? What happens to the woman who did not abort, who did not run, who stayed and sacrificed, but now has to beg to be seen as worthy?
Why is it so hard for society to embrace a woman with a child?
Why is it acceptable for men to father children and walk away, but a woman who stays is considered “damaged goods”?
Why is love denied to the ones who need it the most?
Some of them were widowed. Their partners died too young. Others were abused and escaped. Some were misled by sweet words and fake promises. Some simply trusted. Others made human mistakes. But all of them chose to love their child. They chose to stay. They chose life. And yet the world continues to punish them.
There are women who have been asked to choose between their child and marriage. Women who were told, “If only you didn’t have a child, I would marry you.” Women who lowered their standards just to be accepted. Women who smiled when they were dying inside. Women who walked away from relationships because they could not let anyone disrespect their child.
They called her a problem. They whispered her story like gossip. But she is the one who stayed. The one who didn’t give up. The one who wakes up tired but still gives love.
This is not a plea for sympathy. It is a call for recognition.
These are the untold stories. The silent struggles. The ones you won’t see on social media.
So, if you are a single mom reading this, do not let anyone tell you that your story is a scar. Your child is not your mistake. Your life is not ruined. You are a home made of courage. You are a heart that kept beating even when it was breaking. You are a soul that chose love when it would have been easier to walk away.
You do not owe anyone an apology for surviving. You do not have to shrink yourself to be accepted. You do not have to explain your entire life just to deserve love. You deserve it. Fully. Boldly. Completely.
And if you are a child of a single mother, carry no shame. Never let the world make you feel less. You are not broken. You are not an accident. You are not a burden. You were raised by love. Love that stayed. Love that worked and cried and prayed and pushed through just to see you smile. You were raised with double effort, double grace, double sacrifice. And that makes you more than enough.
Single mothers are not broken women. They are not second-class. They are not the problem. They are the ones who stayed. They are the light in homes where no one else showed up. They are proof that love, even when it stands alone, can still raise greatness.
So, look again. Look at that woman walking with her child. Look at the one selling by the roadside. Look at the one who wipes her tears and still gets up every morning. She is not someone to be looked down on. She is someone to be honoured. Her story is not one of shame. It is one of love, sacrifice, and incredible strength.
And sometimes, the strongest families are not the ones with two parents. They are the ones with one parent who loves twice as much.
To every single mother out there braving the challenges life throws at you and staying strong for that child, this is your shout out. You are seen. You are valued. You are loved.
By Victor Raul Puobabangna Plance from Eggu in the Upper West Region of Ghana
#Puobabangna
