Last night, while my friends Harrison, Billy, and I were strolling to a football match, we had a long conversation about many things—especially about becoming rich. At one point, I mentioned that our upbringing as children might be one of the reasons we aren’t wealthy yet.
However, this morning, a thought struck me. I recalled how Ben Carson, in his book 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘗𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, and Mark Manson, in 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘣𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘎𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘍*𝘤𝘬, both emphasized the importance of not adopting a victim mentality. In other words, we cannot blame poor parental upbringing, the economy, the government, or society for our shortcomings and expect success to come. Ultimately, achieving our goals is our responsibility.
Take this from me there is no exact “𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢” for life. There are, however, certain factors to consider. First, to parents: you are naturally bound to raise your child to be well-cultured. I often wish my parents had made me read books from infancy, encouraged me to socialize as a child, and exposed me early to CEOs and the corporate world. I wish I had discovered my talents much sooner. I wish I had been taught from a young age how to save money, invest wisely, make money work for me, and build businesses. These and many other missed opportunities are some of the reasons why the average white child often has an advantage over the average black child.
If I ever become a parent, I will instil these values in my children: read good books, socialize confidently, build strong networks, discover and nurture your talents early, study hard, attend conferences and seminars, travel and explore different cultures, seize every opportunity, save money, invest wisely, and even start small businesses as a child.
I will teach them the importance of emotional intelligence, critical thinking, resilience, leadership, kindness, financial literacy, creativity, and self-discipline. I will encourage them to dream big, take calculated risks, learn from failure, serve others, and always stay inquisitive about the world. Because true success is not just about following a system—it’s about building a life of purpose, impact, and freedom.
As a young person from this part of the world, it is extremely challenging to rise to your feet alone. More often than not, we rely heavily on financial support just to get started. Let me share my story—it’s personal, but I believe every youth needs to hear it. When you don’t have money to compete, make sure you have the intellect and creativity to outshine your competition.
I am an incredible writer—carrying within me a doppelganger of Chinua Achebe and Barack Obama—and I don’t flinch in the face of competition. I believe in my craft and my ability to stand out. A year ago, I started KelvinWrites Productions. Before then, I attended many stage plays by others. But when I launched mine, everyone who witnessed it could testify—I delivered. That was not because I had the deepest pockets—it was because I had the deepest preparation, creativity, and determination. That’s not just money at work; that’s intellect, that’s vision.
One of the biggest setbacks among many African youth today is the tendency to play the victim. We love to tell ourselves, “𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵… 𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺… 𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯e 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦.” Yes, support is important. Yes, it can make the journey easier. But no one owes you your dreams. No one will hand you success. If you don’t have financial capital, then develop intellectual capital.
Sharpen your creativity, your skills, your resilience—and make it impossible for the world to ignore you. Look at Chinua Achebe—he rose to global literary prominence starting from a colonized Nigeria, with limited resources, yet he wrote 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘍𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, a masterpiece that shook the world.
Look at Nelson Mandela—despite poverty, imprisonment, and unimaginable challenges, his leadership, intellect, and vision transformed a nation and inspired generations. You have no excuse. The real battle is not the money you lack; it’s the mindset you carry.
So here’s my advice to every African youth: Stop playing the victim. Start playing the builder. Invest in your mind. Invest in your craft. Dare to create, dare to stand out. Because at the end of the day, it’s not who helped you—it’s what you built with what you had.
To those of you in romantic relationships but yet to marry, take this from me—and trust me, I’m something of an expert when it comes to matters of the heart. I once fell deeply in love with an amazing woman, beautiful, intelligent, and everything I ever wanted—my spec as we would put it.
Let me share something important: we didn’t just talk about how much we loved each other. We talked about the future—real, tangible plans. We discussed the children we would raise, the kind of home we wanted to build, and, most importantly, the businesses we dreamed of owning together. We talked about finances, the kind of education we wanted for our children, how to expose them early to creativity and innovation, how to help them discover and nurture their talents, how to invest wisely, and how to build generational wealth.
Unfortunately, in today’s world, many couples spend more time discussing vacations, social media trends, and superficial goals than they do discussing the real pillars of a lasting future: vision, values, finances, growth, and legacy.
Here’s my advice to every couple yet to marry: Talk about your future, not just your feelings. Discuss financial plans—saving, investing, building assets. Plan the kind of environment you want to raise your children in. Talk about personal development—how you’ll both keep growing mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Set goals for businesses, side hustles, and wealth creation. Support each other’s dreams, not just emotionally, but practically. Have difficult conversations early—about debts, values, priorities, and what you want life to look like together.
Love is beautiful, but vision is essential. Without a shared vision, even the strongest feelings eventually fade. Build a partnership that is about more than emotions—build one that’s about destiny.
To every child and young person out there: Listen attentively to your parents.They may not be perfect, but more often than not, they have your best interests at heart. Be open with them. Get close to them. Build a strong relationship so you can easily share your values, your ideas, your dreams, and your struggles—rather than seeking advice from people who have little to offer and even less experience to guide you. Yes, I know—parents can be annoying sometimes.
Every child, at some point, thinks their parents are “old-fashioned” or “don’t understand.” But as you grow, you realize they saw farther than you could. Their advice, their corrections, even their seeming “nagging”—it was all preparation for the life they hope you’ll live, one better than theirs. Respect your parents’ experiences, they have seen seasons you are yet to walk through. Be patient with their flaws. Nobody gets parenting perfectly right. Ask questions. Don’t just listen passively, engage your parents in meaningful conversations about life, money, character, relationships, and purpose. Learn from their victories and their mistakes. Both are important. Always remember: your parents’ sacrifices laid the foundation you’re standing on.
Now, to parents: Please, be the best friends your children will ever have. Be present. Be patient. Be approachable. Don’t just give instructions, build trust. Create a home where your children are not afraid to open up about their fears, mistakes, dreams, and ambitions. If you don’t, someone else will, and the world is full of misguided “advisors” and “friends” who will happily lead them astray. Discipline your children with love, not anger. Apologize when you’re wrong, it teaches humility and strength. Encourage dialogue, not dictatorship. Teach by example, not just by words, children become what they see, not what they’re told. Help your children discover their unique talents, and support their dreams, even when they differ from yours. When children and parents move from authority-based relationships to trust-based relationships, families are stronger, and destinies are better secured.
To the adults—just like me—it’s time to let go of old, limiting habits and cultivate new, powerful ones. At this stage in life, it’s no longer enough to simply exist—you must live intentionally. You must be willing to take risks. Growth demands stepping outside your comfort zone. Playing it safe will not take you to the life you dream of. You must dare to dream bigger, act faster, and risk wisely.
It’s also time to let go of unproductive friends and toxic relationships. If someone is not adding value to your life, helping you grow, or pushing you closer to your purpose, it’s time to move on. Your circle should challenge you, inspire you, and hold you accountable—not drain you. Learn to move with change, as Spencer Johnson teaches in 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘔𝘺 𝘊𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘴𝘦? The world is constantly shifting; either you adapt, or you become irrelevant.
Be flexible. Be ready to swing when life demands it. Don’t mourn what was, chase what can be. You must also cultivate resilience and aggressiveness in pursuing your goals. Setbacks will come, that’s guaranteed. But you must be tougher than your circumstances. Fall, but rise quickly. Lose, but learn faster. Cry, but wipe your tears and keep going. The world belongs to those who refuse to quit. Marry someone who believes you can work together despite the dissimilarities, who adds peace and strength to your life, not chaos and confusion. The wrong partner can cost you years of progress; the right one will multiply your potential.
Own an apartment. Own a car. These are necessities, not luxuries, as Harrison would say. Shelter, transportation, and stability are foundations for living responsibly—they give you the freedom to move, build, to create without depending on others. Aim to own, not just to rent.
The world is evolving. If you are not learning, you are dying. Pick up a new language, a tech skill, a trade, or a leadership skill, anything that sharpens your value. Pursue higher education if you can. Upgrade your mind constantly. But remember: degrees without humility are dangerous. Stay teachable. Stay grounded. Real wisdom is not just what you know—it’s how you apply it and how you treat others while using it. I like that about my friend and coursemate, Chris.
Lastly, and this is my favourite part—to spouses: husbands and wives. My home, growing up wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t a fairy tale. But today, I appreciate it because it taught me lessons that no book could.
You may have heard this popular saying: “𝘛𝘸𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦—𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘸, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘸.” Children do not just listen to what you say, they act on what they see at home.
Men, listen carefully: Never, ever raise your hand against your wife. Violence in the home is a disease that destroys generations. To all the girls I’ve ever had a real, heart-to-heart conversation with, I always said: “𝘐𝘧 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺. 𝘕𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴. 𝘕𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴.” Violence is not a mistake—it’s a choice. If it happens once, it can happen again. And sadly, many have paid the ultimate price with their lives.
One of the reasons I decided to study law two years ago was because of this—to fight for the voiceless, to put abusers behind bars. And let me say this publicly: If you abuse women, I will find you—and I will make sure justice finds you too.
Wives, speak up. Communicate your feelings to your husband—openly, respectfully, and clearly. Don’t bottle up your emotions until they explode in anger. Marriage is built on communication, not assumptions. Say what you need. Say what hurts. Say what heals. Help your husband understand you, don’t make him guess.
Now, to both husbands and wives: Love is not just a feeling; it’s a daily decision. Respect each other, even during disagreements. Prioritize peace in your home over pride in your heart. Apologize quickly and forgive freely. Build a home where children feel safe, loved, and inspired. Pray together. Build dreams together. Win battles together. Be each other’s greatest encourager, not the loudest critic. Never let outsiders have more influence on your marriage than you have on each other.
In the end, it’s not the big wedding, the fancy photos, or the social media posts that make a great marriage. It’s two people committed to working, growing, forgiving, and loving each other through every season. Build the kind of home today that your children will be proud to call their beginning tomorrow.
Spend meaningfully. Party wisely. Read good books. Seek knowledge and education. Be creative. Build businesses. Save diligently. Invest smartly. Travel and explore new cultures. Network. Learn new skills constantly. Groom your talents. Attend conferences, seminars, and workshops. Be resilient. Move with change. Choose your friends and relationships wisely. Own properties. Marry right. Stay humble.
I am the most positive, optimistic, vibrant, ambitious, and outstanding man I’ve ever come across—and I say that with full conviction. No one had to teach me to be me. I simply recognized the greatness I carried within, the mission I was born to accomplish, and the future that lies ahead. When you begin to recognize your greatness and work toward it, all other things will fall into place.
Money will come. Success is inevitable. Stay hungry. Stay teachable. Stay driven. Be crazy about success. You and I are destined to win.
